Confusion

You whisper “I love you”
“Do you love me back?”
a heart
beating with one thought
I want to love you
but there are barriers in my way
thousand foot walls
towering over me
I'm confused
I beat on them till my hands bleed
my heart calls out
but the walls block me from you
I hear you calling
but the walls keep us apart
my heart turns
absence making me confused
of one thing I thought was so right
my heart in knots
I don't want this turmoil
or do I?
My heart still wants you
but I can't see you
are you still there?
I can't hear you
my mind starts to forget
your eyes
your smile
the way you used to hug me
my mind forgets
but my heart stays true
or does it?
I thought I loved you
I did once
I think
but absence is a terrible thing
in the face of love
those thousand foot walls haven't moved
and I'm so confused
do I still love you?
Did I ever?
My heart seems to turn against me
my thoughts turn it to stone
“I hate you”
I whisper
tears running down my face
is this what I really feel?
Or am I just confused?
Cold, unfeeling barriers
they care not
“Why me!”
I cry
but there is now answer
can you still remember me?
Or are you like me
your heart turned to stone
and broken into fragments
I don't know what I think anymore
I just want it to end
I just want the barriers to go away
I collapse
my emotions in complex tangles
thousand foot walls remain unbudging
I hate you
I hate myself
confusion is an ugly thing
in the face of love
why did this have to happen?
Frustration makes me confused
I want to see you
hold your hand
but those barriers...........leave me
confused