Murder on the Balcony

Silence
the world is shrouded in night
eerie mist hangs like a curtain over the stars
as ghosts float over the quiet waters
...
Sleep runs from my tireless eyes
shadows flit across my pale face
voices seem to be calling
tapestries slowly part as if beckoning to me
...
My feet move as if they have a will of their own
out into the cool of night onto the balcony
fingers grip the balustrade
tireless eyes searching amongst the darkness
...
Voices just beyond recognition
reach my ears
whispering meaningless words
a chill runs down my spine
...
A small voice at the back of my mind
urges me to go back to the safety of my room
but my unbearable curiosity overcomes it
I stare ever harder into the night
...
Leaning over the balustrade I catch a glimpse
of something milky white and filmy
drifting in the blackness
goosebumps appear on my unfeeling arms
...
The apparition drifts ever closer
instead of fleeing I strain to distinguish the form
gradually I realize that it has taken on the shape of a young man
except that it had no face
...
Thunder rumbles in the distance
black clouds cover the full moon inking out every speck of light
a north wind yanks at my nightgown
pulling it taunt against my body
...
The ghost of a man floats straight up to the balcony
an unuttered gasp comes from my throat
slowly I step back from the rail
as the specter advances ever nearer towards me
...
My bare feet make no noise as I continue to back away
I can see the ghost clearly now
an unearthly being human in everything except for the fact
that it had no face and was completely transparent
...
A black hole served as its face
a gaping blackness that uttered incomprehensible whispers
dismay etched across my face as I realized I would not be able to escape
lightening flashes in the sky outlining the horror with an electric shimmer
...
Just then my foot catches on the hem of my nightgown
causing me to fall backwards
I stare up into the gaping hole that once might have been a face
slowly a tear crawls down my cheek as I stare in utter horror
...
Lightening reflects off of steel
a scream retching from cold lips
is concealed within the rumble of thunder
scarlet liquid stains white
...
A golden orb peaks over the trees
drenching the world in glorious light
causing every black shadow to retreat to the midnight places
that light can never touch
...
A robin rests on the rail of a balcony
and begins a sweet song
unheeding of the lifeless form lying in a pool of black
with an invisible dagger plunged into her breast
...
The little robin was the last living being that saw the poor girl
for no one ever truly understood what happened that night
the only thing that everyone comprehended
was that there had been a hellish storm one night
...
And during that storm
some thought they had heard a scream as if in unbearable agony
some say it was just imagined
but others say that there was murder on the balcony that hellish night
...

The Four Emocijas

SORROW
~
silent tears
crawling down a lifeless face
eyes begging for relief
rain pouring down mixing with tears
...
JOY
~
a perfect smile
stretching across a resplendent face
laughter pealing across the sky
mixing with the sound of tiny bells
...
HATRED
~
jaw clenched
thoughts of murder running through the mind
fists aching to make contact with flesh
vision blurred with red
...
LOVE
~
soft sighs
gentle whispers of affection
caresses so gentle moving over naked skin
hearts beating in unison

Take My Hand.

Take my hand
I'm frightened to go at this alone
I admit this world has me scared
my eyes searching for the light
I'm not even sure is there
...
Take my hand
hold it ever so tightly
assure me that even though
my life is falling to pieces around my ears
you are still with me
...
Take my hand
I need to know you're by my side
take me away from this frightening world
pull me into your arms
so safe and warm
...
Take my hand
and let me know you care

Let Go..

Words oh so gentle
like fall leaves whispering
across the sidewalk
...
a chasm
reminding me of the Grand Canyon
stretches between you and me
...
things aren't the way they used to be
crystal tears like tumbling waterfalls
run down my cheeks
...
my heart is tired of feeling this way
my soul yearns to escape
this prison created once so joyfully by you and me
...
but you don't look the same
and I don't feel the same
...
memories
like haunting ghosts
shimmer before my vision
...
I know we are changing
you and me
...
but my aching fingers
still try to hold on
but I find the only way to hold on
is to let go
...
I'm breathing in my memory of you
and in the next second
I let go

Are You with Me?

So many faithless years spent in wondering
wondering if You are truly with me
my love yearns for some small sign
to show that You will always be by my side
...
My ears strain for some unspoken word
but they hear nothing
oh where are You?
Why do I feel so alone?
Why can't You show me some small sign?
Or do You really not care at all?
...
My humanity aches for the warmth of Your love
pure and unquenchable yet I feel nothing
I'll admit I need You more than anything

don't leave me alone
please be by my side when I wake up

I Miss You.

Sleepless nights spent thinking
of once glorious dreams
dreams I never thought could happen
then never thought would end
blue eyes stare through the dark mist

surrounding my love
you pierced it with your penetrating gaze
now so distant
...
though you may not be holding me close anymore
my mind remembers every detail of you
like the back of my hand
that short time when I was yours
and you were mine
it was all so blissful until your soft, cold words
shattered my reverie into a thousand pieces
...
those words I will never forget
although I may want too
“I think we should move on”
still echoes in the depth of my slowly healing heart
my nights once spent in your arms
snuggled beneath the covers
are now crawling by with the covers all to myself
...
softly a sigh escapes my lonely lips
desperate for a partner
as much as I hate to admit it
my slowly healing heart still yearns
for your soft gaze and tender touch
but my mind knows better
knowing with a secret knowledge
that you will never be back and that I should move on
but oh how I miss you still
...
I know I shall never forget
but I shall try my best to move on
not to forget but to grow from the blissful memory of you

Running Till I Can Run No More

Running through the forest
bare feet pounding the ground
ebony hair flying out behind me
tan arms near my sides
...
Chest heaving
“Run”
my mother said as she was murdered
“Keep running till you can run no more”
...
I must run like the deer
but swift and sure I am not
I trip on a root and pick myself up
continuing to run
...
Trees dash by
dirt is kicked up
startled birds dive for cover
...
I started before dawn
now it is close to dusk
and even though my body threatens to collapse
I keep on running
...
Danger gives the weak the strength to survive
I will survive
so I keep on running
...
The sun is gone
and even though darkness closes in I keep on running
the moon appears
full and milky white
...
An owl hoots
a wolf howls
I keep on running
...
The night grows chilly
grabbing my deer pelt
I pull it tighter around me
and I keep on running
...
Dawn comes
I am still running
my body is slicked with sweat
but I keep on running
...
My stomach contorts in pain from hunger
my mouth dry as dust
I grab some berries as I run by
juice runs down my chin
and yet I keep on running
...
A new moon tonight
darkness envelopes me
I hear the panting of wolves behind me
I hear the calls of the owls
...
My spirit grows weary
my body grows old
a wolf runs next to me
and I am comforted
...
Dawn comes yet again
still I run
the wolf leaves
...
The day is cool beneath the leafy trees
now I hear the noise of dainty hooves
a doe runs beside me
my body is close to death
but my spirit grows stronger
...
I keep running
I feel as if I am floating
I look down and see my body
it is still running
...
I see the whole forest
I see the doe running beside my body
I am still running
I look around
...
I feel no pain
no aching of the legs or chest
I did what my mother said
I ran till I could run no more
...
I look up
I am drifting towards the sun
I believe I see my mother
she is smiling
...
She opens her arms to me
I ran till I could run no more
now I have my mother back
I run to her
...
Ebony hair flying out behind me
tan arms at my sides
bare feet pounding the blue sky

Perfect Yet Spawning Evil

Eyes blue as the ocean
lips as red as a rose
face as white as snow
what people see is nothing less than perfection
...
I'm unblemished
perfect in every way
I walk with a confidence that others envy
my smile showing my self assurance
...
Wouldn't you be surprised
if you were able to strip away the makeup
and see me for who I truly am?
...
On the outside I look like the person everyone wants to look like
my eyes glint with acceptance
and yet
if you looked closer
you would see a small undercurrent of fear
...
A current of anguish
slowly growing behind a wall of self confidence
pride and acceptance
...
Flipping my hair with a slender hand
perfectly manicured nails
I hide my fear deep down
in the depth of my soul where no one can see it
...
Living life to the fullest
laughing and loving
seemingly without a care or a worry
...
Yet deep down I know I am not perfect
deep down I would give anything
for just one person to know me for who I truly am
to know my evil secrets
my darkest fears
my inner mind
and yet
I know I cannot
for then what would people think of me?
...
I hide it all
beneath a mask of perfection
perfect eyes
perfect smile
perfect body
and yet
deep down I am as ugly as you could ever imagine
...
Deep
deep
deep
deep
deep
deep
deep
down
where the evil abounds and spawns a wicked brood
where my heart shrivels into itself
lies black as night reside
and promises never kept wither and die
...
This is my true self
but show myself I cannot
...
Yet don't you see?
If I show my true self to the world
I would be shunned
my friends lost
my dreams and hopes shattered
I cannot
...
How I wish I could become that pig-nosed girl
I so often ignored
for though she may be ugly
she shined with an inner light of peace
...
No one knows who I am
and no one ever shall
...
Unless a miracle happens I shall stay the way I am
perfect on the outside
and evil on the inside
...
Eyes blue as the ocean
lips as red as a rose
face as white as snow
what people see is nothing less than perfection
if only they could strip the mask away!
...

Murderess

Knife hovering between
you and me
quicksilver eyes piercing
into the depths of a haunting soul
...
screams stemming from aching longing
retching from lush lips
metal plunging into flesh up to the hilt
...
head pounding with the beating of my heart
echoing one word
MURDER
but don't you see?
...
As your blue eyes glaze over
I needed to show you the pain
the pain that wracked my body
as you played your bewitching game
...
a soft sigh escapes your soft lips
lids slowly closing
as scarlet liquid bubbles forth
falling to the floor
as if in slow motion
you lie in a pool of blood and regret
...
the last word you utter before your heart gives out
“MURDERESS”
but you must understand!
...
I couldn't take the pain
the agony you forced me through every day
those blue eyes
were supposed to be mine
...
I know I should be strong
but the pain was just to much
I needed release
from the pain you were putting me through
...
escape was all I could think of
my heart beat with one thought
I was dying
and you were so inviting
yet aching fingers reached for something
that was just beyond them
...
I stare at your unmoving lips
fantasizing that you have whispered
“MURDERESS”
...
quicksilver eyes leaking silent tears
each one a diamond torn from my heart
I'm not sorry for what I have done
I'm just sorry that I let you put me through such agony
...
Pulling the knife from your chest
I slowly wipe it across my fading jeans
leaving tracks of red
then I plunged it into my own chest
...
gasping I collapse next to you
for although you put me through so much sadness
my heart is still yours
I cannot live without you
slowly lids close over quicksilver eyes
while my heart beats one thought
“RELEASE”