Use the Key

I realize now I can't live this life
why do I to let this pain
cut through every happiness I've ever had?
I'm surrounded by cold iron bars
but the door is wide open
all I need to do is walk forward
but no matter how hard I try I'm unable to move
this pride seems to grip my legs
the fear of the unknown is unbeatable
==
Sometimes I fail to understand
how I can live this life when there is something
so much better right in front of my eyes
these sickening lies
haunt me with every tear that leaks out
every scream that comes forth
laced with a never ending pain
it's time to say goodbye
but I'm held back by transparent regrets
==
I refuse to live in this anguish any longer
only I can break these invisible chains
that keep me from freedom
I hold the key in the palm of my hand
the time has come to use it
I realize now I can't live like this anymore
my scars will heal in time
but now it's time to say goodbye
to this life I've lead

Scarred Childhood

A lie once thought to be so true
begins to lose its color around the shredded edges
my world begins to turn different shades of gray
hope flies away on silken wings
leaving me forsaken
---
A revelation begins to unfold in my mind
slowly expressing a desire that I can never allow
listen to the sad notes hidden throughout my melody
I've forgotten what it's like to be happy
forever a small child
---
Undead memories continue to haunt
creating a recess in my mind that is forever scarred
the poison of regret sinks deeper into my heart
my past life holds me captive
slowly fade away till I am nothing

Beyond Control

When the sun begins to die
the nightly havoc comes alive
laughing I act as if I have never been happier
when in reality I hide the pain that never goes away
spinning around as fast as I can unable to stop
I'm beyond all control
```
I can't seem to see straight anymore
this pleasure that only brings me pain
continues to kill the happiness I once felt every day
my humanity beats faster than ever before
I keep trying to hold onto something that doesn't exist
I'm beyond all control
```
Feel the liquid seduction running through my veins
a different form of power mixing with the drink
I'm spinning around and around
this night begins to blacken around the edges
I'm losing a hold on reality as it begins to fall away
I'm beyond all control

You Were So Easy

Your eyes graze the truth that hides behind my lashes
listen to my whispers so secretly
I swore to protect you from the lies
but the devil holds my hand
my lips curl into a smile that isn't meant for you
...
Spill your secrets held so close to your soul
my black nails tear slowly down your arms
I promise not to tell my lips breathe
but the devil holds my hand
now watch me destroy you inside out
...
Replay my unspoken words of hope
your mind begins to play tricks on your burdened emotions
I said I would hold you close forever
but the devil holds my hand
little boy you were just so easy to deceive

Eclipse of Hope

Make a wish on a twinkling star
pray that the pain will go away
watch the smoke curl and twist with the wind
then vanish forever like your dreams
you're screaming on the inside
begging for someone to hear your silent pleas
wish to fall asleep and never wake up
*
Turning I catch your eyes sparkling with inner agony
I try to take your hand so close yet so far
I'm a million miles away
but I can still hear your screams for it to end
a blood red sun sets on another lonely day
a hope once new begins to die
you've discovered the art of dying
*
Your thoughts tell you to just go and give up
it would be so much easier so much simpler
grinding your teeth in anguish tears slowly streaming
about to make a life wrenching choice
my lips move but only a breath comes out
yet you still hear me whispering your name on the wind
so quiet so strong a spark of undying hope
*
Watch the golden sun rise high in the blue sky
slowly your eyes close breathe in the peace
listen to the whispers of hope
entwine your fingers in mine hold on so tightly
I promise to never let you go as long as I live
let the warmth of your dreams flow over you
it's the beginning of the end