Bloodless Love

Inky darkness surrounds me
lift my eyes to the tiny points of light
in the night sky
turning I catch you
watching me
with a small smile
I grab your hand
ignoring your hesitation
I invite you closer
*
I know you're holding back
what you believe to be a monster
but when I whispered
“I love you”
I meant I loved all of you
I'm not afraid
pull me into your arms
slowly our lips meet
under the starry sky
*
Don't fight the urge
I give freely of my scarlet life
pierce my lily white neck
a flash of pain
quickly snuffed out with pleasure
I can feel you drawing
on my life force
through your pale lips
*
I'm consumed with love
slowly you lift your eyes
bloodshot with points of black
scarlet drips from pearly fangs
but I'm not afraid
brushing your cheek with my hand
I whisper
“I love you”
*
Closing my blue eyes
I drift away on a cloud of warmth
freely I gave of my gift
so you could live
you lay me down on a bed of green
tears slipping down your pale cheeks
you never meant to kill
the only thing you loved
*
Lying down beside me
you nestle my head on your chest
and wait for me to be resurrected
as an immortal creature
forever thirsting
forever consumed with love

No emotion
all the drama makes me want to choke
I'm tired of feeling like a failure
nothing I do is right
stop looking at me
leave me be

+
No answer
what was the question again?
Welcome to the show
I'm tired of hearing your voice
playing round and round
like a broken record

+
No will
the fight just leaks out
I'm tired of seeing your perfect face
blood crawls down my arms
I can't be normal
it's held against me

+
Make me go numb
block my ears
cover my eyes
I just want to be like you

Icecream

Take a walk
along the sidewalk
the sun beats so fierce
my shirt clings to me
no shade to be seen

*
Fantasizing about something cold
hear the pied pipers melody
I'm drawn to it
dig through my pockets
$1.75

*
The trade is made
careful
don't let the sweetness drip
too late
sticky fingers hold tightly
to my prize

*
Lick lick lick
so sweet and cold
too soon
my prize is devoured
my short lasting
relief is gone
no more money
time for a nap

Go Away. Come Closer.

Nothing lasts forever
slowly time rips me apart
my hands in fists pushing you away
when all I really want
is for you to come closer

---
I know my love
just isn't strong enough
if it breaks it may never heal
you're the only one
that has been able to see
through this bluff

---
My eyes ache with unshed tears
a yearning that never goes away
are you smart enough to know
that when I push you away
I'm begging for you to come closer?

---
Outstretched fingers

reach for something

that doesn't seem to exist anymore

you're the only one who has made me feel
real inside and out
---
Pull at my mask let it fall
look into my blue eyes
take my hand hold me close
never let me go
make this last forever

Fake.

I try so hard
to see the beauty in life
why is it that I only manage

to see the pain?

`

Everyone says that with time

you will heal on the inside

so why is it

that I'm still broken within?

`

I'm so tired

I just want to curl up in a ball

deep beneath my covers

go to sleep and never wake

`

I hate feeling

fake

Be There For You

Dedicated to my girlfriends

I love you

Sometimes I can be such a fake
a cracked smile
but you've always seen right through me
sometimes I can do so much evil
blood drips slowly
but you've always been able to make me feel pure

~
Sometimes I can be a selfish horror
greed traps me
but you've always showed me how to care
sometimes I can be such a coward
my heart cringes
but you've always showed me how to be brave

~
Your seemingly endless love
never ceases to amaze me
you've never left my side
you've never stopped caring
I know I don't deserve
someone so special

~
But I promise
to try my best
to always be there for you
like you've always
been there for me

Dreams*

Close your weary eyes
let your mind wander
open the portal to dreams
feel the warm breeze
sprout wings and fly away
watch the doubts slip free
*
Make a wish
remember all your wildest fantasies
watch them come true
fulfilling all your desires
take a delicious bite of freedom
savor every moment
*
Slip into a blue fantasy
hear the soft melody
let your head fall back
become what you've always wanted to be
don't let anything stop you
from pursuing your dream
*
Dawn comes too quickly
begin another long day
but don't let reality stop you from seeing the unreal
when you close your eyes
open the portal
and let your dreams come true

Pictures..

Hear the snap of a camera
create a memory
imprison it behind the lens
with the click of a button
watch time freeze
~
A laugh
seen but not heard
A blue bird
stopped forever in mid flight
A primrose
that will never see winter
~
Exhilarate in the power
to capture what will never happen again
soak pieces of life in the darkroom
watch your memory become vivid
in a picture

A Never Ending Nightmare

The rain never ceases
the sun doesn't exist in my world
the silence screams obscenities
burn the letters slowly
watch them turn to ash
and blow away forever
=
The sharp pain
leaves tracks down my arm
scarlet staining the white
my eyes glazed over with the night
tears a brilliant torture
continue to go unnoticed
=
A never ending nightmare
doubts continue to swarm
blackness chokes the blue sky
blocking out the rays of light
anger chokes the goodness in me
blocking out the happiness
=
Write my agony out on paper
drops of blood mixing with ink
claws of a nightmare dig into my mind
an unceasing hate
I'm waiting for disaster
I'm sinking into a never ending nightmare

Clear Blue

Shimmering water

so clear and blue

dig your feet into the mossy bank

pick up a pebble

throw it into the pond of clear blue

watch the ripples widen and spread

...

A blue bird calls

from a maple tree

pick a daisy

pluck the petals off one by one

he loves me

he loves me not

...

The sun plays

peekaboo with the clouds

feel a friendly breeze

watch it ruffle the maple's leaves

the petals of a daisy float

in the pond of clear blue

...

Dip in your toes

feel the clear blue

the blue bird's call is answered

one becomes two

turning I catch you coming towards me

a daisy in your hand

...

Your smiling eyes a clear blue

reach for my hand

whisper "are you in love with me?"

I dig my toes into the mossy bank

a soft smile

I whisper "Yes I am."

...

I watch

your smile turn into a grin

you pull me into your arms

two blue birds make love across the sky

as we sit on the mossy bank

dipping our toes into the pond of clear blue

Nothing.

Nothing.
Is what you see
yet pain shoots through my body
and transparent tears cascade down white cheeks

Nothing.
Is what you see
yet a smile is stretched thin
and dancing eyes sparkle with unshed torture

Nothing.
Is what you see
yet scarlet gashes cover my arm
and my heart pumps the warm blood out

Nothing.
Is what you see
so how can I make you understand
that I'm slowly dying inside?

I'm just so tired
no wrinkles on my face
but on my heart

My soul is weary
tired of wearing a mask
tired of pretending to live a perfect life
tired of pretending to be alright

I try to show you but
Nothing
is all you see